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Coming In From The Cold

26 New Zealand male survivors share their personal stories of sexual abuse

In a new publication that records the last 10 years in the development of Tautoko Tāne Aotearoa, you will read the stories of 26 Tautoko Tāne staff and clients who have generously shared their survivor experiences to raise awareness of the impacts of sexual violence and to support the important work of the only national network in New Zealand that is dedicated to enabling the wellbeing of male survivors.

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Disclosure of Abuse

Under-reporting of child sexual abuse or sexual assault

One of the difficulties in establishing a picture of the extent and circumstances of childhood sexual abuse and male sexual assault is under-reporting. Males are particularly reluctant to report childhood sexual abuse as both a child and adult.

Evidence suggests that:

  • Boys are less likely than girls to disclose at the time the sexual abuse occurs.  
  • Between 70-90% of males who have been sexually abused report not telling anyone at the time. 
  • Males disclose being sexually abused in childhood on average 22 years after the assault – 10 years later than females.  
  • Men report first in depth discussion 28 years after the sexual abuse, and first helpful in-depth discussion 30 years after the abuse.  
  • Men are more likely than women to make selective disclosure, to a limited number of people.  
  • Men are one and a half times less likely than women to report rape to police. 

Barriers to disclosure

  • Stigma associated with being sexually abused. 
  • Power exercised by those perpetrating abuse through threats, coercion, apportion of blame.
  • Silencing effects of fear, confusion and shame.  
  • Dominant masculine stereotypes.
    • Ideas that men should be powerful, strong, able to protect themselves against overwhelming odds, be self reliant, not acknowledge weakness, or be unable to cope.
  • Homophobia, questioning of sexuality
    • Concern that he will be considered ‘homosexual’ or ‘gay’ and treated negatively.
  • Uncritical acceptance of the idea that males who have been sexually victimised ‘automatically’ go on to perpetrate abuse.
    • Research indicates that most males (95%) who have been sexually abused in childhood do not commit offences. 
  • Concern they will be treated differently as males and may receive a limited or inadequate response.  
  • Sexual abuse remains in some cultures a taboo or something shameful that should be hushed up.

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